MOPS: Controlling Your Emotions

Before I get into my MOPS notes...
If you haven't checked out my "A Memory Apart" book review/giveaway,
you should check it out then enter to win a copy of the eBook & a $25 Amazon giftcard!
If you've already read the book or romances aren't your thing
you can always give it as a gift to somebody (;

Alrighty, so yesterday at MOPS we got to watch a video.

In said video, Lysa TerKeurst talked about controlling our emotions.

She talked about how difficult it is to do this,

but also how we can learn to make it easier.

Here are my notes:

Conflict happens when we feel either exposed or opposed.

These situations can lead to chaotic feelings.

When conflict occurs, we have a choice right before we react.

Most reactions can be categorized under the following 4 reaction types:

1. Exploders that blame others

2. Exploders that shame themselves

3. Stuffers that build barriers

4. Stuffers that collect retaliation rocks

Our reaction types may vary depending on who we are reacting to.

Child, spouse, parent, friend, acquaintance, church leader, etc...

In other words, we have different reactions with different people.

If you are an exploder that blames others

- This type of exploder expresses their anger in the heat of the moment,
then finds someone else to blame for their emotional reaction.

- Remind yourself to pause before you react.

- Don't attack the person, address the issue instead.

- Ask yourself if you would let someone else see you reacting in this way.

If you are an exploder that shames yourself

- This type of exploder expresses their anger in the heat of the moment,
then later puts a guilt trip on themselves,
making themselves feel terrible for not handling it differently.

- Bring some perspective before reacting.

- Ask yourself, "If this is the worst thing that happens today will it be the worst day ever,

or will it be a pretty good day?"

If you are a stuffer that builds barriers

- This type of stuffer often doesn't know how to address conflict or perhaps doesn't want to.

- Instead of saying "I'm fine" then stuffing your emotions internally,

establish a boundary by continuing to communicate.

- Let go of bottling things up & pretending things are okay.

- Resolving the conflict the right way feels much better than keeping it all in.

If you are a stuffer that collects retaliation rocks

- This type of stuffer keeps things inside when upset to try & keep the peace,
but later lets out each of their frustrations when least expected.

- You may tend to hear something one way that was meant a different way
& stash away false impressions of what happened to use against someone.

- Before reacting, ask yourself if you are trying to prove that you are right
or are you trying to improve your relationship.

Proverbs 18:21

If you want to learn more about the different types of reactors

or just want to improve your communication,

I suggest reading Lysa TerKeurst's book, "Unglued".

Although I have not yet read it,

I heard so many wonderful things about it yesterday at MOPS.
Here's a cool author interview I found about the book...

After watching the video,
we had a little discussion about what we learned.
Sheri Carlstrom is one of the amazing mentor moms in our MOPS group.
That's right, she's one of the wonderful ladies that contributed to the best advice from experienced moms.
I want to share some words of wisdom that she said yesterday that stuck with me.
"It's better to react when you have emotional reserve, rather than when you have nothing."
There is so much truth in those words.

After Sheri talked with us for a little bit, we talked within our little discussion groups.
Another book was mentioned that I will definitely have to check out...
"Boundaries with Kids" by Dr Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend.
I have a wonderful bunch of ladies in my 'purple group'.
They are always great at listening, giving advice, & just being there.
A huge thank you to everyone who listened to me vent yesterday.
You have no idea how much I appreciated it!
I was able to confront the issue happy & head on yesterday,
& things have been great ever since... (:
You are all so awesome!

In summary, what I learned:
Pause.
Respond instead of react.
Handle the emotions that create the conflict rather than the conflict itself.

Keep in mind that all of my notes above are my own thoughts about what I heard
& they are not necessarily word for word.

I've already put these tips into practice & noticed a HUGE difference.
I challenge you to do the same!

Other great MOPS posts in case you missed them:

Some of the Best Advice from Experienced Moms

Children & Discipline

xoxo

A Memory Apart - Kindle eBook giveaway

So as I mentioned a couple weeks ago
in my "Love.Loss.&Oh.My.Heck." chapter 1 review...
(speaking of which, Chapter 2 is now up on Maryn's blog for you to read)
I finished reading my cousin Daniel Elijah's first published book,
"A Memory Apart"
& I absolutely loved it!
(I promise I'm not just saying that because we're related!)

Here's a quick summary in my words:
"A Memory Apart" is a clean love story from the perspective of a teenage boy named Joshua.
The kind of love Joshua & Hayden had for each other was special
& it had been that way for as long as he could remember.
But with a very unexpected turn of events,
he finds himself torn, confused,
& in the middle of a love triangle
that he never would have anticipated.

I loved Daniel's use of descriptive words throughout the book.
It made it really easy to get a feel for each of the characters' distinct personalities.
At first I thought that Joshua was a little too obsessed with Hayden,
but thinking back to when I first fell in love with Hubby
I realized that he pretty much nailed how I felt.
I was obsessed.
Once I remembered what it's like to be a love-struck teenager
it was much easier for me to get into the book.
I enjoyed it more & more as I read on.
As the plot continued to unfold,
I got so into the story
that I had a hard time putting it down.
Don't believe me?
Ask Hubby.

I asked Daniel to write a special message to you readers,
& am more than pleased with his inspiring words...

Dear reader,

When I set out to write "A Memory Apart," I wanted to write an enduring love story that readers of all ages would find enjoyable, but more importantly, I wanted to craft a tale about living life in a way that creates lasting memories. I have always believed life is the total of our experiences, good and bad. Each of these experiences, and the people we experience them with, create who we are. It's my hope that as you read about Joshua Freemont you will come to better appreciate every moment you have in your life. And hopefully when you're old, and when I'm old, we'll look back and realize that our lives have been monumental blessings.

I hope you'll be inspired to live your life to the fullest, just like I was inspired by Joshua. He let me into his world, and I'm happy to share his story with you. 

Enjoy,

Daniel Elijah

Such great advice (:
I completely agree with Daniel
& think it's important to appreciate every moment of our lives.
Like he said above...
Our lives are molded by not just our good experiences, but also our trials.
So why not live our lives to the fullest,
enjoy the good times,
& learn from the hard times?


"A Memory Apart" was a quick & easy read,
but very enjoyable nonetheless.
Because I enjoyed the book so much,
& because we both enjoy the support of all you wonderful readers out there,
I am going to be hosting a fun little giveaway!

The winner will receive
a copy of the "A Memory Apart" eBook
& a $25 Amazon giftcard!

"A Memory Apart" is currently available in the Kindle format.
Don't have a Kindle?
No worries!
You can download the free Kindle app on your smartphone or tablet to enjoy the eBook.

Enter below via Rafflecopter:
a Rafflecopter giveaway
xoxo

Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving!
I've done the month of gratitude challenge on Facebook before
& I enjoyed remembering how many blessings I truly have.
This year I wanted to do things a little differently
by creating a somewhat vague alphabetized list on the blog.
My plan is to revisit each of these blessings at some point throughout this next year
& delve a little deeper as to why I am grateful for them in separate posts.
I will add to the list as I think of other broad topics of gratitude.
Things I'm grateful for...

- animals
- atonement
- bed
- books
- church
- clothes
- colors
- electricity
- entertainment
- extended family
- fall / autumn
- food
- friends
- health
- Heavenly Father
- Holy Ghost
- home
- Hubby
- hygiene
- imagination
- in-laws

- Jesus Christ
- knowledge 

- Little Dudeman

- Little Princess
- military
- moving
- music
- nature

- parents
- service

- siblings
- sight
- smells
- sound
- spring
- summer
- taste
- technology
- thermostat
- touch
- traditions
- transportation
- travel

- water

- weather
- winter

What are YOU grateful for?

xoxo

Coming soon...

Just a quick post to let you know I'm still here...

Yep, I haven't forgotten about this lovely little blog of mine!

The kidlets & I have been having plenty of fun running errands,

going on a family fieldtrip to Little Dudeman's eye appointment 2 hours away,

& going from one playgroup to another this week

so our home & my blog have been just a wee bit neglected.

There are some exciting things coming soon around here though (:

Remember when I was asking about sponsors & ad spaces?

Yep, that's gonna happen!

Email me pronto if you want info about pricing!

Remember when I did the review of chapter one for Maryn Hillman's novel,

"Love.Loss.&Oh.My.Heck."

& I briefly mentioned that I finished 

"A Memory Apart" by Daniel Elijah?

Yep, we're going to be having another book review & an Amazon giftcard giveaway!

Remember when I did Mommy School before the move

& we stopped on T is for Tiger?

Yep, I'm hoping to pick up where we left off really soon

with a U is for Unicorn week!
With holidays, travel, & whatnot
we may not start back up until January,
but we will definitely start back up!

Also, I'm planning on adding a music page to the blog
with links to my SoundCloud account
where I will soon be uploading the songs I recorded before our move.
I'm hoping to record more songs someday
& maybe even write a few,
but these 4 will be available for your listening pleasure for now (soon).

Last but not least,

check out the Life is Fantasmic facebook page

to see a sneak peek of the very possible new look to the blog!

Little Princess is in a Tinker Bell phase right now,

so I thought it would be fitting to do a

'second star to the right' theme...

Whatcha think?

xoxo

Love.Loss.&Oh.My.Heck. - review of chapter 1

So, one of my favorite roommates from college,

Maryn Hillman
is doing something absolutely amazing with her life right now.
She is chasing her dreams to become an author!
Let me rephrase that...
She is acting on her dreams & becoming an author!
When you act on a dream it becomes a goal.
We all know the wonderful feeling we get by achieving our goals,
so to help her achieve this goal I am letting all of you readers know about it!

Here's a summary from my dear friend, the author:
The story of a teenage girl finding herself through the friendship of two country boys.

In my words,
& without giving too much away
here's a little bit about the first chapter of her novel,
"Love.Loss.&Oh.My.Heck."
Nicolette had to move across the country with her family
right before her senior year of high school
from California to a small town in Georgia.
This change is extremely difficult for her.
She doesn't like being the 'new girl' in town with no friends,
& she desperately wants to go back 'home' to California.
Chapter 1 follows Nicolette on her first day at her new school
where she meets a couple of Southern boys that just won't leave her alone.
I would love to tell you more,
but why give too much away when you can read it yourself? (:
I loved chapter one & can't wait to see how the rest of the story unfolds!

I was able to relate to Nicolette in a sense during this first chapter.
You see, I know how hard it is moving to a new area,
especially during the last year of high school.
I moved from Wisconsin to Arizona right before my senior year.
It wasn't easy by any means,
but I feel like I had a completely different attitude towards our move.
That may have been because I had moved before,
or possibly because I was raised differently.
Perhaps it was because my high school status was very different from Nicolette's.
No matter the reason,
it's hard to leave friends.
It's hard to readjust to a new area.
It's hard to be the 'new kid' when everyone has their cliques.
It's hard enough as an adult,
but when you're still in school I think it's more difficult.

I encourage you to swing by her blog & read the first chapter when you have the time.
She is sharing it there first so that we can all have a sneak peek at the book before it's published!
Awesome, right?
Chapter two will be up on her blog this weekend for you to enjoy.
I'll post a full review of her novel once I finish it...
Meanwhile, give the first couple chapters a chance
& let Maryn or myself know how you liked it!
Thanks for helping her follow her dreams (:

By the way...
If you're curious about the Oh. My. Heck. in the title,
you can read a summary of why written by the author herself.

Here's the excerpt from the back cover:

Everyone was gone. Only Cordin's truck remained as I sat on it. The fire was huge, reaching towards the sky. The stars came closer to be within its reach. The orange color in front of me was absolutely brilliant. Even if I wanted to think about a care in the world, I couldn't. The fire danced around itself, captivating me into its world. I felt no gravity. I felt no weight. I felt free. I felt completely whole. The silence was the most wonderful sound I had ever heard. The fire reached to the stars and danced. The embers flew among the stars, teasing them, joining them. The sky opened to welcome the fire. I felt as if I could let go of the truck and I would fly into the heavens above. My mind had clarity. A clarity that human kind climb mountains for. A clarity that is searched for in books. A clarity that not many find because it is in the most simple of acts. I've felt it before in my surfing, but here, on a tailgate, in the middle of the woods, watching a fire, I found it again. I looked through the fire and saw Brocker, his kind, calming eyes looking back at me and suddenly I felt gravity; gravity that held me safely to where I was in Layton, safely to life, safely  to who I was meant to be. I was supposed to be here. I was solid. He was solid. My rock. I was safe because of him. He disappeared into the fire and it danced around me, keeping me safe and warm. Cordin. Cordin was on the other side with his intense, soulful eyes looking straight through me. No one could look through me like he did, not even Brocker. He knew who I was meant to be. He knew where I was supposed to be. Here. I was supposed  to be here with them. Without knowing Cordin knew everything about me. I quickly looked to the sky. The stars smiled and laughed. The fire grew. He knew everything because he was everything. Brocker and Cordin. My rock. My everything.

Don't forget to follow Maryn Hillman on:
Twitter
& Facebook (coming soon)

While I'm on this whole book review subject...
I just finished reading my cousin's book,
"A Memory Apart"
& will have a review of that up soon!

xoxo

Braided Chicken Roll

I remember having this simple yet tasty meal while growing up.

This year we turned it into a mummy & had it as our Halloween dinner

just by adding a couple olive slices for eyes.

Pretty spooky, huh?

Alright, so it's not that spooky.

But it is delicious.

2 cans crescent rolls
2 cans cooked chicken (or 2 large chicken breasts, shredded)
1/2 cup mayo
1 tsp dill weed
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup grated cheese
Sliced olives (optional - I usually leave them out since Hubby doesn't like olives, but I'll occasionally put them in my half)

Drain chicken, then shred it in a large mixing bowl. Mix mayo, dill weed, & salt with chicken until well combined. Add grated cheese & olives, and stir until completely coated. Unroll crescent roll dough & arrange flat on a cookie sheet. Pinch perforations together until it is one large, flat piece of dough. Cut inch-wide slits in the dough towards the center across the length of the sheet forming a fringe on 2 sides. Leave a solid 3-4" strip in the middle for the chicken mixture. Spread chicken mixture evenly onto the solid section. Fold the strips over the chicken mixture, alternating strips from each side and pinch to seal. Sprinkle with cheese if desired. Bake at 375 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown & no longer doughy.

xoxo

Sponsors & Ad Spaces?

So I've been toying with this crazy idea for a while now...

I'm thinking about possibly adding a sponsors section to my sidebar.
My blog is only a little over a year old.
Am I crazy?

I've always wanted to actually make money blogging,
but income with AdSense is reeeally slow
& MyRecipeMagic has only paid me once
although I thought they would send it to my PayPal monthly.
Anywho...
I'm not trying to say that those options don't work,
I'm just saying that they haven't benefited me all that much.

Again, am I crazy for wanting to add sponsors on this lil' blog?
Where should I start if I decide to take that route?
Has anyone had any luck with Passionfruit?
What ad space sizes would you like to see?
How many ad spaces should I offer?
What should pricing be for each size since I'm just starting out with it?
How many of you wonderful readers out there would actually want to be a sponsor?
Any experienced bloggers out there have any input for me?

Email me at
lifeisfantasmic {at} hotmail {dot} com
if you're interested in becoming a sponsor
or if you have any advice...
Thanks!

xoxo