Postpartum Preeclampsia

If you missed Little Sunshine's birth story
but would like to read it first to make sense of this random illeism
you can find that post here.

Chapter Two: Postpartum Preeclampsia
The hospital required Little Sunshine & her mother to stay 48 hours after birth before being discharged,
because unlike the hospital in California
they wait until the baby is 48 hours old to do the newborn blood screening.

Her husband stayed at the hospital with her the first night
while her kids stayed at home with their family friend, Meg, & her two boys.
He had to leave the hospital at 5:30am to go watch the kids
since Meg had to get her boys to school & go to work.
They tried to find someone to watch the kids during the day
so that he could go back to the hospital
& keep his wife company while they enjoyed their new baby,
but they were unable to find someone.
He decided to take them to see 'Planes: Fire & Rescue'
at the movie theater as a daddy date,
then they all came to the hospital for a little while afterwards.
He stayed at home with them Wednesday night
since he was cold & uncomfortable at the hospital anyway.

As promised, Grampa stopped by the hospital on Thursday to meet the wee one
before heading home from his business trip
& the father-of-now-three brought the older kids with him that day
so they could see their grandfather before he had to go to the airport & fly home.
They stayed & visited for a while
& the young mama was glad to have their company.
She was also very excited that she & her new baby would be going home in just a few short hours.

A little bit before her father left,
she noticed some tightness in her chest & shortness of breath.
She found it peculiar,
but dismissed it because she had experienced a lot of that during the third trimester.
She began to notice a slight headache behind her eyes
& it was getting difficult for her to concentrate or focus.
The children were a little stir-crazy & were running all over the place
so she thought that perhaps that was why her focus was off a bit.
They said quick goodbyes & headed back to the house to get the other car
so that the wife & newborn could come home with them after the 48 hours was up.
Things continued to get worse after they left.
The mother began having heavy palpitations & a pain in the center of her chest with each one.
It was getting more & more difficult for her to concentrate.
She felt a lot of anxiety & got very lightheaded & dizzy.
She thought that maybe her blood pressure was low
so she pressed the call button.
When the nurse came in to check it
she was shocked to hear that it was waaay too high.
I can't remember exactly what it was since there was so much going on & I couldn't concentrate
but it was 180 something over something.
Not normal.
They called the OB in to check on her.
When the doctor arrived,
she asked the mother a bunch of questions
then ordered a CT scan with contrast...
STAT.
She wanted to rule out clots because of the chest pain, palpitations, blood pressure, & whatnot.
She also mentioned that they would not be discharged that day.
The bewildered mama called her husband in tears
& filled him in on everything that had happened after he left.
After the call, they took her to get the CT scan done.
The right side of her neck began hurting after they put the contrast dye in,
& it would continue to hurt for almost a week.
She had no clue as to why.
The results of her CT came back normal which was quite comforting,
so the OB came to the conclusion it was most likely postpartum preeclampsia that was causing the symptoms,
& they treated it as such.
The mother was moved back into a labor & delivery room
where she was placed on a magnesium sulfate drip for 24 hours,
accompanied with air circulation cuffs for her legs,
a pulse monitor on her toe,
& a blood pressure cuff that was checked hourly.
Little Sunshine was sent to the nursery for the night, except for feedings,
so that her mom could get adequate rest for a speedy recovery
& also because her mom was confined to the bed
aside from bathroom breaks when a nurse would unhook everything but the IV.
Halfway through the night she was sent back to a postpartum room
since all the babies in the area decided to be born right then.
The next morning, Little Sunshine's father drove her siblings to the hospital for a visit.
GrandBo & CiCi also drove up to see their new granddaughter, although they could only stay one day.
The mommy loved the company, but wished they were all home.
Her husband & other children felt the same way.
Little Princess even brought her mommy a 'get well soon' flower after a walk with CiCi.
It brightened her day immensely.

Her OB wanted to keep her there another night
for observation without the magnesium sulfate drip.
Her blood pressure was elevated a few times,
but not so high that it concerned the doctors.
It fluctuated all throughout the night,
her symptoms would come & go,
& she had a pretty big anxiety attack at one point
but when her doctor came in the next afternoon,
she was given the okay to go home.
GrandBo & CiCi came back to the hospital with her husband & kids
to pick up the mama & new baby
& to spend some time with them before they drove back to Tennessee.

A little while after they got home, her husband took their oldest two children to the airport to go pick up Nani.
It was really windy & stormy out & her flight was delayed.
As they were sitting in the cell phone lot waiting for her plane to land,
he was monitoring her flight on an app.
He watched the plane circle around a few times to wait out the storm,
then it eventually turned around & was headed towards Illinois.
It wasn't a very large plane so it needed to refuel before heading back to Indianapolis.
They decided to get some dinner while they waited,
then went back to the airport to pick her up once her flight landed
It was great having Nani at their home for the week.
The young mother continued to have symptoms periodically throughout the week,
but they were never as bad as they were at the hospital.
Her blood pressure was very inconsistent.
The systolic would range between 160 and 130
& the diastolic would range between 105 and 75.
By the end of the week it was back within normal range,
with the occasional spike around 140/90.
She enjoyed her mom's visit nonetheless
& appreciated the help with the kids while she was there.

Gramma came to visit a week later.
The mama was doing much better at this point.
Her blood pressure was completely normal
& her symptoms were mostly gone.
She was grateful for the company & help
as she adjusted to life with three kids,
but Gramma couldn't stay forever..
This meant no more visitors for a while,
& that she was on her own yet again.

Chapter 3 coming soon...
Three Kids

xoxo

MOPS: Courage to Be a Mom

As I mentioned before,
The theme this year for MOPS is 'Be you, Bravely'.
During our last meeting we talked about having the courage to be a mom.

We started by watching this video about the world's toughest job...



Being a mom.
It's definitely the toughest job in the world.
It's also one of the most rewarding.
I would know...

Being a stay-at-home parent means everything is expected of you,
& nothing is expected of you all at the same time.
It just depends on who you ask.

My children expect everything of me.
My husband only expects me to take care of myself & the kids.
(If I manage to get other things done that's great, but we are his priority.)
Some people may expect that my house would always be spotless since I'm home all day.
Others know that even though I'm a stay-at-home mom my house is rarely spotless
because my children expect everything of me.

We talked about how sometimes society thinks that because we aren't earning a paycheck we aren't contributing to society & that we are simply too lazy to work.
It's quite the opposite really.
Stay-at-homes are very busy people.
Cooking,
cleaning,
paying bills,
running errands,
changing diapers,
taking care of sick children,
helping watch other peoples' kids,
scheduling appointments,
going to appointments,
& thousands of other things that come our way.
It's definitely more work than your typical high school babysitting job (;

We talked about how easy it is to get discouraged
when we are doing 'all the things'
& somehow we still can't manage to get everything done.

Then we realize that our children are growing up before our eyes
so we slow down for a bit & embrace those little moments
only to notice exactly how much we are contributing to society.
We are raising these children to be wonderful adults.
We are teaching them important values.
We teach them:
to listen.
to be kind.
to have faith.
to love.
We are teaching them the importance of family,
responsibility,
& so many other things.
We are teaching them all the things they will need to know in order to get through life.

A couple things really stood out to me during the meeting:
"Today is the day that really matters"
"Motherhood is your worthy calling for today, and you ARE enough."

Although they didn't share it at MOPS,
this video also came to my mind...



"You never know how much good you do."
- President Gordon B. Hinckley -

We broke into our discussion groups
where we talked about how difficult yet rewarding being a mother can be.
We also each received paychecks for a gazillion dollars for all the hard work we do!
For some strange reason by bank won't honor it...
Shucks.

We met back up as a large group then finished off the meeting
by watching this inspirational video about the power of a mother's love...

One last thought...
Someone mentioned this poem in our group & I've always loved it:
I hope my child looks back on today
And sees a mother who had time to play.
There will be years for cleaning and cooking
But children grow up while you are not looking.
Tomorrow I'll do all the chores you can mention
But today, my baby needs time and attention.
So settle down cobwebs, dust go to sleep;
I'm cuddling my baby, and babies don't keep.
- anonymous -

xoxo

MOPS: Mompetition & Bullying

Last week at MOPS we had another great speaker!
Char Binkley came & talked about
'Mompetition'
(aka competition amongst moms)

She talked about 5 main points.
So I'll go over those first,
then I'll move on to the other random notes I took.

1. Comparison is a human, inborn trait - it's a God-given thing...

It's the way we can tell the difference between good & evil.

2. Comparison is necessary in life - it's a good thing...

It creates choices for us:

We compare prices when shopping to get the better deal.

We compare when we decide what kind of food to buy.

We compare when we decide which clothes to wear each day.

3. Comparison is embedded in our culture - it's a dangerous thing...

It can create:

jealousy

division

negativity

loneliness

feelings of inadequacy

distorted thinking

mental paralyzation

4. Comparison is your choice - that's a hopeful thing...

You're only a competitor in mompetition if you sign up for it.

Don't sign up for it.
Choose to be present with your children...
"Motherhood is not a spectator sport."

5. Comparison is a spiritual perspective - back to that God-given thing...

God is on your parenting team.

He doesn't compare any of us, so why should we?

Society can't tell you what you're doing right or wrong. God can.

The most important thing is to reflect God -- that is your job description in life.

Reflecting God requires being present with your children & husband.

"Just stop it."

Stop competing with other moms.
Remember that it is your choice.

Does the conversation always end up with you talking about your child
whether it be bragging or complaining?

Do you avoid talking about your family
because you are afraid of feeling inferior to the other mom?

Ask yourself... "What does it matter?"

Are you making it about you or are you making it about your child?

Make it about your children.

How do we avoid comparison when confronted in conversation?

1. Don't engage - deflect. (How great! You must be proud of them!)

2. Change the subject. (How great! Crazy weather we've been having, huh?)

3. Tell them that you would rather they try to avoid comparisons.

(Only if it's someone you're close to & you know they wouldn't be offended by you saying this.)

It's easy to feel like other people are intentionally parenting "AT US".
Is that really the case?
More than likely not, but even if they are...
What does it matter?
 Char read us this post titled 'Quit Pointing Your Avocado At Me' from Glennon at momastery.com...
It's well worth the read if you have the time!
I love the part where she says that we're all fighting the same fight on the same team.
There is so much truth in those words!

Be your child's best cheerleader.

Be careful not to give them an exaggerated idea of themselves.

Encourage them, but you don't have to say they're the best.

Don't brag about other people's kids or husbands.

Don't compare yourself to "experts".
It's so easy to do with Pinterest & social medial nowadays.

You never know what struggles the other person may be going through,
so when you catch yourself comparing, ask your Father in Heaven for help...

"Bless her. Fix me."

You can reflect God every moment of every day
to your families
& everyone you meet.

That's it for my MOPS notes, but please keep reading
since I have more to share on this subject...

Michelle from Connecticut Working Moms
so kindly let me share this picture with you on my blog:

It's part of a series of photos
on her 'End the Mommy Wars [Special Photo Edition]' post...
If you haven't seen those photos,
I HIGHLY encourage you to do so!
The pictures cover so many of the topics that moms tend to argue about,
& show how we can make different choices & still raise happy, healthy children.
Such a wonderful message (:

The way I see it, there are two main types of dangerous comparing...

Feeling like you are better than someone else (pride).

Feeling like you are worse than someone else (inadequacy).

I tend to do the latter more often than not...

The other night as I was reflecting about all of this,

I started thinking of a different angle that wasn't really mentioned at MOPS...

Comparing vs Bullying.

It may have been on my mind after reading this post about Bullying at Church
& watching the video at the end of the post...
It really hit home for me because I have been on the receiving end of exactly that.
Sometimes it was intentional.
Sometimes it was unintentional.
It was never physical,
but the comments hurt me just the same.
I like to think that I've gotten over the hurtful comments.
For the most part I have.
I've forgiven those that were mean to me,
but every now & then those comments sneak back into my mind.
I remind myself that I am a daughter of God
& that He loves me...
The only opinion that matters is my own,
& only I have the power to choose whether or not I let those words get to me.

Nobody likes being bullied.

I know I never enjoyed it.

So why do I bully myself?

That's essentially what's happening when I compare myself to others.

Really though.

Why do I allow myself to beat myself up

when someone else simply does things a different way than I do?

It's pretty ridiculous when you think about it.

That's when I have to remember to

"Stop it."

As Dieter F. Uchtdorf said in his April 2012 conference talk,
'The Merciful Obtain Mercy',

It's a wonderful talk
with a wonderful message.
Please read or listen to it.

Stop the competition.
Stop the bullying.
Stop beating yourself up.
You are a child of God.
You are loved.
You are enough.

Remembering these things reminds me that

I don't need to change for anyone.
I don't have to try to get 87,452 things done in one day.
Honestly, I don't want to be supermom.
I just want to be a super mom.
And I am.

Other MOPS posts you may want to check out:
Advice From Experienced Moms
Children & Discipline
Controlling Your Emotions

xoxo

Potty training

Little Dudeman has been on a potty training kick lately again.
I'm hoping it's for real this time.

He was showing a lot of interest around 18 months,
but he was still in size 2 diapers at the time
& wearing 9-12 month pants.
There was no way that he would be able to wear 2T underwear.
So I ordered some 18 month training underwear from Amazon.
He was swimming in them.
They were absolutely ginormous.
We couldn't even buy pull-ups or the slip-on diapers
because they don't make them in size 2.
Lovely.
So we did what we could with regular diapers.
It didn't last long before his interest died & he wanted nothing to do with it again.
He wanted to try again right around the time Little Princess was born.
Great timing?
Not so much.
We tried, but with a newborn it just wasn't happening.
Then he lost interest and wanted nothing to do with it for a while.
And so the story goes...
That cycle happened a few more times
with each time slightly more successful than the last,
but nothing worked long-term.

In the past, we've tried:
jumping right into underwear
setting a timer every 15-20 minutes,
giving him "potty juice" (juice or CapriSun) just for trying
(to fill his bladder so that he will want to go more frequently & get more practice),
giving him 2 gummy fruit snacks every successful potty break,
a sticker chart
(1 sticker for #1 & 2 stickers for #2),
a potty toy
(he only gets to play with it if he stays dry between potty breaks),
potty pennies
(one penny in the piggy bank every time he successfully goes potty: 1 for #1, 2 for #2; max 10 cents per day).

Since he's excited about it again,
I'm doing everything I can to keep him motivated
but I don't want to push him so hard that he doesn't want to keep up with it.
I just found & unpacked his underwear on Monday,
so yesterday we said goodbye to the slip-on diapers yet again.
 He wore his underwear without a fuss & stayed dry all day long,
and he went potty every hour and a half-ish.
He had one messy accident.
I still consider it progress.

This time, we're just trying the underwear again.
We're also using a timer...
I first set it at 30 minutes yesterday,
then 45 minutes,
then we tried for an hour long stretch,
and finally worked up to every 90 minutes.
I'm hoping to get to 2 hours today,
unless he says or shows me that he needs to go sooner of course.

We're still putting him in slip-on diapers at night,
but he's been pretty good at staying dry as long as he goes potty right before bed.
I don't know how soon we'll be brave enough to let him wear underwear at night though,
since we still co-sleep with both of our kids right now.
His bed isn't even put together from our move yet.
So as long as he's in bed with us,
he'll probably be wearing the slip-ons at night...

Little Princess went potty in the toilet three times her first day of trying.

She was only 13 ½ months old at the time.
Now at 18 months, she is constantly pulling her diaper down
and wants to go every time Little Dudeman tries.
It's annoying, yet wonderful!
We haven't started her on underwear yet,
but we'll see how she does...

xoxo