Happy Mother's Day

I had a rough day on Saturday.

REALLY rough.

A day that brought me to tears multiple times

due to mere frustration with the kids.

I'm sure my pregnancy hormones had something to do with it as well,

but still...

I felt like I was talking to a wall.

I became a broken record.

I couldn't go to the bathroom without something spilling or breaking.

The kids were screaming at each other.

Their toys weren't being shared.

There were diaper blowouts,

runny noses,

whining,

tired & crabby kids.

I'm used to these things happening each day.

It's part of being a parent.

It's not unusual.

But when it became a constant all day battle with all of the above

mixed with stress & my pregnancy hormones

I was ready to throw the towel in.

I tried turning on movies.

The kids wouldn't stay in the room.

I tried playing with them.

They continued fighting with each other.

I tried to get them to take a nap.

They both wanted to cuddle on the same side of me

& ended up arguing over who got to cuddle with my left side.

My patience would fluctuate.
It started out fairly high,
but it diminished little-by-little as the day went on.
When the kids would do something adorable
it would jump up a bit,
but soon drop back down to a discouraging low.

Hubby was two hours away
at our old house trying to touch up paint
& do other odd jobs that needed to be done there,
then he came home to take care of the yard at our new house.
I felt like he had done so much more with his Saturday than I had done with mine.
I had only been able to unpack one box all day
& our house looked like a tornado had passed through it.
This whole "nesting" phase just isn't working out for me.
I wanted the house to be unpacked & in order,
but being the mom of two young children I should have known better.

I can try my hardest to have a routine,

but I have to expect the unexpected to happen each day.

Routines just don't work for us.
At least not right now.

We got the kids ready for bed right after our late dinner.
(Daylight savings time really throws my cooking schedule off
as well as my internal 'get the kids ready for bed' clock.)

Little Dudeman went to bed & fell asleep easily,
but Little Princess wanted cuddles.
Hubby & I started to doze off in the process,
but my bladder woke me up shortly after she fell asleep.
I was still pretty grumpy
& was hoping that there would be enough time for us to cuddle on the couch & watch a movie,
but I also reeeally needed a shower.
I knew I couldn't stay up to watch an entire movie thanks to that little cat nap
so I complained & cried to Hubby about my day while eating ice cream,
then opted towards the shower.

I was still crying when I hopped in the shower.
I thought about Mother's Day
& how we didn't get gifts, flowers,
or even cards mailed out to our wonderful moms.
I thought about how undeserving I was to be wished a Happy Mother's Day,
especially after a day like that
when I had no patience for the very children who made me a mother.
I thought about a lot of things...
I noticed I kept putting more & more negative thoughts into my head.
So I quickly said a prayer that I would be able to be comforted,
& that I would have the strength to keep Satan & those negative thoughts away.
It worked.
Almost instantly.
The rest of my shower was relaxing
& I started thinking positive thoughts...

I realized that I'm not a bad mom.
Rough days happen.
That doesn't mean that I love my children any less though.
I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity I have to be a mother...
I'm grateful for the two wonderful children that put up with me all day every day.
I'm grateful that they ask what's wrong & remind me that it's more fun to be happy than it is to be sad.
I'm grateful for our unborn daughter that wakes me up in the middle of the night just because.
I'm grateful for Hubby & that he understands being a stay at home mom isn't always easy.
I'm grateful for the joy that motherhood brings.

I realized that between Hubby & I
we are blessed to have 5 amazing moms (:
This is what our kidlets call them:

Nani

Gramma

Gram

CiCi

Nana

I could spend plenty of time explaining the wonderful qualities each of these women have,
but I'll save that for another post since this one is already a bit lengthy...
We love each of them the same amount,
but for many different reasons!

Nana & Nani are half of the reason that Hubby & I were born.
Gram & Gramma took care of & raised us the most.
CiCi, Nana, & Nani weren't able to spend as much time with us,
but the time we were able to spend with them was time well spent
& we still learned a lot from each of them.
CiCi & Gramma helped us realize that not all step-mothers are evil.
Nani & Gramma are the ones I call the most when I need to vent
because they are my actual moms,
but I know Hubby's moms are great listening ears as well... (:
Gram is no longer with us,
but I know that she is still watching over us each day.
Each of these women have an immense love for us

& we have an immense love for each of them.
They are absolutely wonderful
& I'm sure that they love us even when we are so scatterbrained that we forget cards!

At church today we had a great lesson about choosing to be happy (:
It was just what I needed this crazy Mother's Day weekend!
I can't wait to tell you all about it!

xoxo

MOPS: Mompetition & Bullying

Last week at MOPS we had another great speaker!
Char Binkley came & talked about
'Mompetition'
(aka competition amongst moms)

She talked about 5 main points.
So I'll go over those first,
then I'll move on to the other random notes I took.

1. Comparison is a human, inborn trait - it's a God-given thing...

It's the way we can tell the difference between good & evil.

2. Comparison is necessary in life - it's a good thing...

It creates choices for us:

We compare prices when shopping to get the better deal.

We compare when we decide what kind of food to buy.

We compare when we decide which clothes to wear each day.

3. Comparison is embedded in our culture - it's a dangerous thing...

It can create:

jealousy

division

negativity

loneliness

feelings of inadequacy

distorted thinking

mental paralyzation

4. Comparison is your choice - that's a hopeful thing...

You're only a competitor in mompetition if you sign up for it.

Don't sign up for it.
Choose to be present with your children...
"Motherhood is not a spectator sport."

5. Comparison is a spiritual perspective - back to that God-given thing...

God is on your parenting team.

He doesn't compare any of us, so why should we?

Society can't tell you what you're doing right or wrong. God can.

The most important thing is to reflect God -- that is your job description in life.

Reflecting God requires being present with your children & husband.

"Just stop it."

Stop competing with other moms.
Remember that it is your choice.

Does the conversation always end up with you talking about your child
whether it be bragging or complaining?

Do you avoid talking about your family
because you are afraid of feeling inferior to the other mom?

Ask yourself... "What does it matter?"

Are you making it about you or are you making it about your child?

Make it about your children.

How do we avoid comparison when confronted in conversation?

1. Don't engage - deflect. (How great! You must be proud of them!)

2. Change the subject. (How great! Crazy weather we've been having, huh?)

3. Tell them that you would rather they try to avoid comparisons.

(Only if it's someone you're close to & you know they wouldn't be offended by you saying this.)

It's easy to feel like other people are intentionally parenting "AT US".
Is that really the case?
More than likely not, but even if they are...
What does it matter?
 Char read us this post titled 'Quit Pointing Your Avocado At Me' from Glennon at momastery.com...
It's well worth the read if you have the time!
I love the part where she says that we're all fighting the same fight on the same team.
There is so much truth in those words!

Be your child's best cheerleader.

Be careful not to give them an exaggerated idea of themselves.

Encourage them, but you don't have to say they're the best.

Don't brag about other people's kids or husbands.

Don't compare yourself to "experts".
It's so easy to do with Pinterest & social medial nowadays.

You never know what struggles the other person may be going through,
so when you catch yourself comparing, ask your Father in Heaven for help...

"Bless her. Fix me."

You can reflect God every moment of every day
to your families
& everyone you meet.

That's it for my MOPS notes, but please keep reading
since I have more to share on this subject...

Michelle from Connecticut Working Moms
so kindly let me share this picture with you on my blog:

It's part of a series of photos
on her 'End the Mommy Wars [Special Photo Edition]' post...
If you haven't seen those photos,
I HIGHLY encourage you to do so!
The pictures cover so many of the topics that moms tend to argue about,
& show how we can make different choices & still raise happy, healthy children.
Such a wonderful message (:

The way I see it, there are two main types of dangerous comparing...

Feeling like you are better than someone else (pride).

Feeling like you are worse than someone else (inadequacy).

I tend to do the latter more often than not...

The other night as I was reflecting about all of this,

I started thinking of a different angle that wasn't really mentioned at MOPS...

Comparing vs Bullying.

It may have been on my mind after reading this post about Bullying at Church
& watching the video at the end of the post...
It really hit home for me because I have been on the receiving end of exactly that.
Sometimes it was intentional.
Sometimes it was unintentional.
It was never physical,
but the comments hurt me just the same.
I like to think that I've gotten over the hurtful comments.
For the most part I have.
I've forgiven those that were mean to me,
but every now & then those comments sneak back into my mind.
I remind myself that I am a daughter of God
& that He loves me...
The only opinion that matters is my own,
& only I have the power to choose whether or not I let those words get to me.

Nobody likes being bullied.

I know I never enjoyed it.

So why do I bully myself?

That's essentially what's happening when I compare myself to others.

Really though.

Why do I allow myself to beat myself up

when someone else simply does things a different way than I do?

It's pretty ridiculous when you think about it.

That's when I have to remember to

"Stop it."

As Dieter F. Uchtdorf said in his April 2012 conference talk,
'The Merciful Obtain Mercy',

It's a wonderful talk
with a wonderful message.
Please read or listen to it.

Stop the competition.
Stop the bullying.
Stop beating yourself up.
You are a child of God.
You are loved.
You are enough.

Remembering these things reminds me that

I don't need to change for anyone.
I don't have to try to get 87,452 things done in one day.
Honestly, I don't want to be supermom.
I just want to be a super mom.
And I am.

Other MOPS posts you may want to check out:
Advice From Experienced Moms
Children & Discipline
Controlling Your Emotions

xoxo