Happy Mother's Day

I had a rough day on Saturday.

REALLY rough.

A day that brought me to tears multiple times

due to mere frustration with the kids.

I'm sure my pregnancy hormones had something to do with it as well,

but still...

I felt like I was talking to a wall.

I became a broken record.

I couldn't go to the bathroom without something spilling or breaking.

The kids were screaming at each other.

Their toys weren't being shared.

There were diaper blowouts,

runny noses,

whining,

tired & crabby kids.

I'm used to these things happening each day.

It's part of being a parent.

It's not unusual.

But when it became a constant all day battle with all of the above

mixed with stress & my pregnancy hormones

I was ready to throw the towel in.

I tried turning on movies.

The kids wouldn't stay in the room.

I tried playing with them.

They continued fighting with each other.

I tried to get them to take a nap.

They both wanted to cuddle on the same side of me

& ended up arguing over who got to cuddle with my left side.

My patience would fluctuate.
It started out fairly high,
but it diminished little-by-little as the day went on.
When the kids would do something adorable
it would jump up a bit,
but soon drop back down to a discouraging low.

Hubby was two hours away
at our old house trying to touch up paint
& do other odd jobs that needed to be done there,
then he came home to take care of the yard at our new house.
I felt like he had done so much more with his Saturday than I had done with mine.
I had only been able to unpack one box all day
& our house looked like a tornado had passed through it.
This whole "nesting" phase just isn't working out for me.
I wanted the house to be unpacked & in order,
but being the mom of two young children I should have known better.

I can try my hardest to have a routine,

but I have to expect the unexpected to happen each day.

Routines just don't work for us.
At least not right now.

We got the kids ready for bed right after our late dinner.
(Daylight savings time really throws my cooking schedule off
as well as my internal 'get the kids ready for bed' clock.)

Little Dudeman went to bed & fell asleep easily,
but Little Princess wanted cuddles.
Hubby & I started to doze off in the process,
but my bladder woke me up shortly after she fell asleep.
I was still pretty grumpy
& was hoping that there would be enough time for us to cuddle on the couch & watch a movie,
but I also reeeally needed a shower.
I knew I couldn't stay up to watch an entire movie thanks to that little cat nap
so I complained & cried to Hubby about my day while eating ice cream,
then opted towards the shower.

I was still crying when I hopped in the shower.
I thought about Mother's Day
& how we didn't get gifts, flowers,
or even cards mailed out to our wonderful moms.
I thought about how undeserving I was to be wished a Happy Mother's Day,
especially after a day like that
when I had no patience for the very children who made me a mother.
I thought about a lot of things...
I noticed I kept putting more & more negative thoughts into my head.
So I quickly said a prayer that I would be able to be comforted,
& that I would have the strength to keep Satan & those negative thoughts away.
It worked.
Almost instantly.
The rest of my shower was relaxing
& I started thinking positive thoughts...

I realized that I'm not a bad mom.
Rough days happen.
That doesn't mean that I love my children any less though.
I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity I have to be a mother...
I'm grateful for the two wonderful children that put up with me all day every day.
I'm grateful that they ask what's wrong & remind me that it's more fun to be happy than it is to be sad.
I'm grateful for our unborn daughter that wakes me up in the middle of the night just because.
I'm grateful for Hubby & that he understands being a stay at home mom isn't always easy.
I'm grateful for the joy that motherhood brings.

I realized that between Hubby & I
we are blessed to have 5 amazing moms (:
This is what our kidlets call them:

Nani

Gramma

Gram

CiCi

Nana

I could spend plenty of time explaining the wonderful qualities each of these women have,
but I'll save that for another post since this one is already a bit lengthy...
We love each of them the same amount,
but for many different reasons!

Nana & Nani are half of the reason that Hubby & I were born.
Gram & Gramma took care of & raised us the most.
CiCi, Nana, & Nani weren't able to spend as much time with us,
but the time we were able to spend with them was time well spent
& we still learned a lot from each of them.
CiCi & Gramma helped us realize that not all step-mothers are evil.
Nani & Gramma are the ones I call the most when I need to vent
because they are my actual moms,
but I know Hubby's moms are great listening ears as well... (:
Gram is no longer with us,
but I know that she is still watching over us each day.
Each of these women have an immense love for us

& we have an immense love for each of them.
They are absolutely wonderful
& I'm sure that they love us even when we are so scatterbrained that we forget cards!

At church today we had a great lesson about choosing to be happy (:
It was just what I needed this crazy Mother's Day weekend!
I can't wait to tell you all about it!

xoxo